Coming to Understand the IFS Model
These are the basics of the model as we are coming to understand them.
It is normal for all people to have multiple aspects or parts of themselves interconnected in a system or internal family.
None of our Parts is bad, and all of our and one another’s Parts are welcome (although not all behaviours are welcome).
Parts often compete to be in charge, or believe themselves to be the “ultimate I” of a person, yet in fact exist within the spaciousness of our most true or essential Self, which they have often had little experience of, and usually don’t realise they’re blocking out.
The qualities of Self can emerge more and more strongly when Parts become willing to “unblend”, to experience themselves as part of a greater whole, to be supported by the Self, and to be in more cooperative and appreciative relationships with other Parts.
The presence of Self energy is commonly experienced as greater calm, patience, curiosity, playfulness, compassion, courage, creativity and more…
Those practicing applying the IFS model are encouraged to discover how to ask an intense feeling Part to try “relaxing” or “softening” back a little, how to speak for this Part, rather than from this Part, and over time how to live in an increasingly Self-led rather than Parts-led way.
Parts are understood as carrying “Burdens” which is what makes them seem intense when activated. These burdens can take the form of intense thoughts, beliefs, emotions, urges, body sensations, memories, and specific kinds of tasks or roles to perform.
The Burdens of our Parts are understood as most usually the result of childhood distress of many kinds and societal and cultural conditioning.
Parts are commonly found in one of three roles: Exiles (the most vulnerable feeling ones), Firefighter-Protectors (like the ones who reach for food, drink, work, etc to try and stop distress), or Manager-Protectors (like the ones who get frustrated with us acting in ways they believe to be self-damaging).
Parts are understood to be far more than their burdens, and can be supported to release their burdens through a healing relationship with the person’s Self, and to discover their true nature.